Those were the words I was dreading to hear on Sunday and as I got up I knew how precious little time we had left together. Natasha got up at 8:00 which I couldn’t believe because she normally sleeps until 10:30. She had her game face on and she went to the bathroom and changed into a little hot pink short plaid shirt, black sparkly tights, shiny black boots and a striped white shirt and hot pink sleeveless hoodie. She looked dressed to the nine’s and gorgeous. I checked in on her a few minutes later and found her fast sleep again in her bed….

9:00 – I started putting luggage out in my car and trying to keep myself busy. I put a few more toys in her backpack (Diva Puppies) that I thought would make her smile when she unpacked… She named them Chewey, Beau and Maggie…

9:30 – I started calling everyone to tell them I was heading to the airport soon and I spent the next 45 minutes looking for the Dramamine that Jo had given me for Natasha. I couldn’t’ find it anywhere and I turned my house upside down looking for it. I felt awful since I knew this would help her on the flight and Jo had made a special trip to get it…

10:00 – I started waking Natasha up and she was so sleepy and groggy. She didn’t understand what was happening and finally she remembered and started crying… I hugged her and told her I loved her and that I always would. She gave me a necklace that I’m sure was given to her during her stay but I got the meaning. She didn’t want me to forget her… She walked out of her room and said goodbye to Maggie. She smiled at her and walked like a little soldier out to the car. She asked me about Beau which she couldn’t pronounce and it always sounded like “Bup” and so I reminded her he was at the kennel.

10:15 – I was getting gas and Jo drove there to meet us. She jumped in my car while I was pumping gas and gave Natasha hugs and kisses. I wasn’t the only one that was going to miss this beautiful little girl. Donna, Jeff, Nina, Vickie and Trinity met us at the airport and the day of dread had begun.

I had my first meltdown at the ticket counter when I was told we were in the wrong line and we had to start all over again. That was all I could stand and so Jo stepped up and mentioned to the ticket agent that Natasha was going to the Ukraine and to please help us out. She was going with another girl and already nervous. They let us have the next ticket agent and he was very kind. I explained what was happening and he just worked diligently to get her thru the process and could see the sadness on my face. I’ve never been a good poker player and there was no disguising the loss I was feeling.

We made it to the security gate and everyone said their goodbyes. Natasha was crying softly and her head started to just look at the floor. I gave her my I phone so she could keep herself busy. I took Natasha on thru security and she knew the drill… Shoes off, coat off, purse in plastic bin, backpack off, etc. etc. She actually did a better job than me and looked at me with that Russian look of annoyance as if she was saying “Catch up with me… Do I have to teach you everything!” I realized I was being admonished by an 11 year old…

When we got to the gate she sat down and didn’t want to talk or do anything but send her last text messages to Nina. I don’t know what she was saying since she was using a Russian keyboard but she was twirling those thumbs as fast as she could. Cindy came with Valya and so I had a chance to hear about their hosting trip. Valya is a beautiful girl, soft spoken, loving and holding on to Cindy with all she had. The trip would not be easy for the girls but I was so glad they were together on the flight to Baltimore. They were being picked up by a guardian who would take them to Dulles International Airport and there all the children hosted during the Christmas season would get to see each other. Natasha was very happy to hear that Laura’s child (who unfortunately I cannot spell her name correctly) was waiting to see her once she arrived. She had been adopted last year from the same orphanage as Natasha and I was glad they were going to have time together. I wanted her to give her “hope” that things would work out for her too…

“Announcing Flight 777 to Baltimore. We will start pre flight boarding.” We looked at each other and knew it was time. I grabbed her backpack and she had her purse and toy she wanted to take on the plane (that wouldn’t fit in the suitcase). As Cindy and Valya were saying their goodbyes she melted into my arms and cried, tears running down her cheeks that sliced through my heart. I whispered something in her ear that only she and I could share and I hope it was enough to get her through the flight.

We waved goodbye and the doors shut. Cindy and I walked back to the others and we chatted for a few minutes. It was a tough day on everyone and we left the airport with a piece of all our hearts heading to the Ukraine.

I walked in my house later that day and the silence was deadening. I looked through my entire house and there was a piece of Natasha in every room. She left her mark and I could still feel her essence from the little shoes next to my kitchen table, to the arts and crafts on my dining room table, the Russian food in my refrigerator, to the mountain of gifts still remaining in her bedroom that would not fit into her suitcase. She was loved and she knew it…Maggie and Beau kept searching room to room for her. The rest of the evening was a blur.

Natasha probably arrived around 4:30 today and all day long I kept thinking about her and praying for her safety on her long road back to Odessa. I thought of all the children today who were hosted and wondered how they were doing… Did they have enough to eat? Were they warm enough? Were they missing us? Did anyone hug them today?

These children are like the broken glass that the director of the orphanage would piece together and build into a beautiful mosaic. Their lives have been shattered but with love and attention they will flourish and will grow into beautiful young men and women. I have thought about the mosaic analogy often and believe if you put all the pictures together of children adopted from the Ukraine (a collage of sorts) and you step back a few feet, you will see God’s image in the background. I am convinced that he brought Natasha to us and we were the lucky ones to have her.

I pray that families will step up and host during the summer or go forward with adoptions. These children are a blessing and are only waiting for a family to come and get them. They have been through more than most but they still have hope that one day they will have a Mama and a Papa.

Is the process challenging? Yes, but you have people like Maggie at frontierhorizons.org that can help you through the process and countless families across the United States to provide advice and encouragement. Will the first few months be challenging since there will be translation challenges? Yes, but nothing that you can’t overcome… I have met so many families through this hosting event and heard their own stories of adoption. All feel blessed beyond belief.

This whole experience could be a Hallmark movie and all we’re waiting on is the happy ending. I pray with all my heart that it comes soon.

A special thank you to Nina who was the best interpreter a girl could have. I would have been lost without you…. You more than anyone, made Natasha’s trip one she will never forget. I love you vey much!!

Natasha slept until 11:15 this morning and who would be at my front door but Nina. As soon as she heard her voice Natasha bolted out of bed and ran to her and hugged her. They know the time is drawing near and I am grateful for one more day with them together. Nina’s father called me today and asked if I had “kidnapped” his daughter again. I said I like to think of it as “attending church camp” since she has been with us almost every day of Natasha’s stay and I couldn’t have done it without her…

The girls had breakfast and they are now sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted, little girls and Natasha started acting silly at the table. I turned to say something to her when a full glass of cranberry juice came my way in slow motion and all over me and on the wallpaper of my kitchen… I know what would have happened to me with my parents so all I said is “Get in the car. We’re going to see the Russian shopkeepers.” They went running to the car laughing and when we arrived I explained what had happened to the shopkeeper and I said “She goes home tomorrow and I don’t want this to be a downer but I want her to understand she can’t do things like that.” Her eyes got big when she heard what she had done and she said in a thick Russian accent “No, she must listen… I will talk to her…” So in a very even toned voice but with big brown eyes that said she meant business she had a “consultation” with Natasha and it was worth the $31 I paid for Russian sausages and cheese. She came out of the store much more gracious and I believe the “message” was received loud and clear. She ended the conversation very sweet and talked to the girls for almost 15 minutes and said “I hope to see you again.”

I took the girls over to Walgreen’s today so they could choose the pictures that Natasha would take home with her. I think they hit every button on the screen but I didn’t care because those pictures will help her through the flight tomorrow and she’ll be able to show them to the other kids that were hosted. We came back to the house and they turned on the TV and what would they be watching but “Annie.” I saw those little girls in the movie scrubbing the floors and I didn’t know if I should just change the channel or not… They were engrossed in the movie and I decided to let them see that it had a happy ending.. They were fine. I was not so fine…

I served them lunch and suddenly Beau and Maggie got into a fight and fur was flying everywhere. Maggie got too close to Beau’s food and Beau let her have it Texas style… It scared Natasha so much she started crying and finally after I pulled them apart she wanted nothing to do with either one of them. I told her we had to take Beau to the vet and leave him for the night and suddenly no one would sit in the car with him… I had to do some major negotiations but finally ended up with Beau in the front and the girls in the back… Natasha asked if Beau was sick and I said “no” but you could tell she was worried about him and why he wasn’t staying at home with Maggie.…I told her I want to make sure he is OK while I’m at the airport tomorrow so better safe than sorry. By the time we arrived at the vet clinic Beau was back in good graces with both of them… They started to take Beau back to the kennel and she latched on to him with all she had. It reminded me of Timmy and Lassie of yesteryear… She started crying and tears just fell down her cheeks as we walked out to the car…Beau and Maggie have been great therapy dogs for Natasha and there’s nothing better than having a pet when a child is upset or angry. They have a special way of soothing their little souls…

I took the girls over to Buckhead’s for the last dinner of ribs and French fries. Jo Miller and her friend Vickie along with Trinity (Vickie’s granddaughter) joined us and the girls were back to laughing and giggling together. I told them after 2 ½ weeks of carb ridden kid food I’m pretty sure a colon cleanse is justified…I am ready for some healthy food again…

The girls started getting quiet again as they got back in the car and covered up with blankets in the back seat. They both refuse to wear jackets so I have my car filled with blankets to keep them warm. So I decided to lighten up the mood by singing way off key my version of their Russian songs they have been playing all week…They just laughed and giggled and then Nina said with a thick accent “You drive. No sing. You no good.”

I took Nina home to Jeff and Donna’s and they begged to bring Maggie along and so off we went and said our goodbyes to their family. We came home and packed the remaining clothes and trinkets. Natasha’s favorite American slang is now “ I dunno and Oh my Gosh.” She practically had to sit on the suitcase to get it closed and she had her backpack full along with another little Walmart bag. I gestured to her that she came over with this little clear plastic backpack that was sitting on the floor and she realized how much she had been given during her stay and how much she was taking home with her. She kept looking at all of it and saying with her sweet accent “Oh my gosh.”. We practiced rolling the suitcase in my hallway as she had her backpack, purse and bag in tow…

We ended the night with one last round of Russian ravioli and she gestured and smiled when she looked at the wallpaper. We both laughed that the day had started out a bit rough but ended on a sweet note. At 1:15 I finally got her in bed and watching some American television. I am hoping the late hours will allow her to sleep on the plane.

It’s New Year’s Day and I told the girls I would take them to the movie as our last big outing. Nina was very willing to try a new adventure but Natasha has to work her way into anything new by contemplating and observing. Let’s just say she was not enthused about getting into the “machine.”

Natasha came to me with the RE/MAX sports bag she had used for swimming and gestured that she wanted to take it back on the plane rather than her backpack… She was trying to work her way through the fact that her trip was coming to an end and so that was a tough moment for us both… I had Nina interpret that we had a bigger bag for her with wheels so that she could take back more of her presents. That made her smile…The organizers of the trip sent us a note this past week that said we could send a suitcase and I was very relieved… She’s an organizer so when I had the nerve to peek in her room I could see she was almost finished and everything was neatly packed. I had to just walk out of the house and take a breather…

Once they arrived at the theatre with bags of buttered popcorn, M&M’s and icee’s all was right with the world again. We saw the latest Chipmunk movie and it was really cute. I think I enjoyed it as much as they did and the cinematography was amazing. The brightest colors I’ve seen on the screen in a long time and I found myself thinking about the old movies I watched of them as a child.

After the movie, they wanted to go see the Russian shopkeeper and so I drove by but unfortunately they were closed. I recommend any family considering adoption in Louisville to check out the store and to use them as a helpful resource when you are struggling with translation. They were terrific and I will never forget them.

I took the girls back over to Jeff and Donna’s and I know Nina was happy to see her Mama and her family, to be back in her own room, with her own kitten and her own DRUM set! She was back in her home and you could tell she had missed everyone.

Natasha wanted to go to the grocery store one last time and “grocery” sounds like (magazine) in Ukrainian. “Mama….. MAG A ZINE…” It’s so funny and sweet to hear her voice…. She wanted a birthday cake, sausages, and kosher dill pickles as her meal along with oranges and two lunchables trays of crackers, ham, cheese and turkey as a nice midnight snack. Her birthday is in October so I’m not sure why she wanted the cake but she had a generous portion that evening and she loved the yellow roses and icing on the cake.

I called Laura in Maryland and asked earlier in the morning if her daughter (who was in the same orphanage as Natasha) could speak to each other. The trip was winding down and I thought it might help her to talk to someone who she remembered and loved from the orphanage. They spoke for almost an hour and I think she knows that Laura’s daughter will be at the airport to see her in Baltimore. That will make the first leg of the trip easier on her. I dread thinking of Natasha on a flight for 23 hours. That’s hard enough on an adult and she hates to fly. I’m guessing it has to do with the headaches she has and perhaps some of her dental issues.

I asked Laura about the orphanage in Balta and she said it was in a very rural setting. I was pleased to hear she was not in the city…She said if you took a black and white picture you would not know what decade it was. Lots of horse drawn wagons, men in their black Russian caps and coats, and women dressed in typical Ukrainian wardrobe. She said the director is a very nice woman and she still keeps in contact with her. The children receive 5 small meals a day. It may not be the food they enjoy the most but it’s nutritious and she does her very best for the kids. Laura mentioned she is artistic and she helps the kids paint murals and make mosaics out of broken glass to add some interest to the walls and gives the children something to do. The orphanage has about 250 children many of which are available for adoption.

The girls slept in late and they were on their own until I got home at noon today. Jo’s great grandson was about to be born today and so everyone was off to the hospital in anticipation of the delivery. The girls are night owls and late sleepers where you almost have to sound a bugle to get them up so I knew they would be safe until I arrived home.

Friday afternoon we met Pam and Jay Best and their family at the YMCA. They were able to get us in with a guest pass and so the girls were able to swim again and in a place that has this huge slide. Natasha just sat down on the bench and observed for about 10 minutes and then she just threw off her beach towel and went climbing up the slide like it was Mt. Everest. Once she had one turn under her belt there was no stopping her…

Jay and Pam’s children (Sophie and Julia) played with Nina and Natasha all afternoon. Their son Andrew played sports all afternoon and held his own against his competition in basketball. There’s a funny story that when Jay and Pam went to adopt their children they planned on adopting two (Andrew and Sophie). It wasn’t until they arrived in the Ukraine that the kids told them they had another sister at another orphanage and was she (Julia) coming too! The rest is history…They packed all three kids up and off they went. It wasn’t easy in the beginning because of the translation challenges but if you could just see these kids now it goes to show what love, patience and boundaries can do for the children. Many of the children at not accustomed to following rules or having anyone care about them. It takes time for them to believe that someone really loves them and will always have their best interest at heart.

After swimming, Jay and Pam invited us over to a spaghetti dinner with salad and garlic bread. The kids were hungry since they had played all afternoon. I fixed Natasha her meal and when I took it to her and we were all seated at the table her head just went down and tears started falling down her cheeks. This is the second or third time when I have been in a big family gathering that she has shown those same emotions and we can’t determine if she misses her family or if she doesn’t feel part of the meal because she doesn’t have a family of her own… It will rip you apart with sadness and so we tried to just go on with the meal since she wanted no one to touch her or hold her. Her eyes were glued to the floor.

Finally, Julia got the great idea that once the kids went back downstairs to play on the wii they would take her food with them. It worked like a charm and they came back about 10 minutes later with an almost empty plate… She came back upstairs smiling and we clapped (she held her hands over her ears but was smiling). We ended the day with peppermint ice cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles and the kids went downstairs with theirs and Natasha was back in the game enjoying hers as well.

As I was driving home Natasha got a glimpse of the Golden Arches which equates to French fries and she told Nina she was hungry. We zipped thru drive thru and the girls got fries and a vanilla sundae. About 30 minutes passed and I was almost in my subdivision when she tapped me on the shoulder and said in English “ I am hungry.” She saw the Golden Arches again and although I thought it was better not to do so I turned the “machine” back around and ran through drive thru AGAIN. I just kept hinking to myself that in two days she will be on a 23 hour flight with minimal amounts of food and back into an environment where only the strongest survive. She needed every last pound on that 70 pound frame to see her through.

As soon as we walked thru the door I got a phone call that baby Eli was about to be born. The girls wanted to go to the hospital and so off we went with a “Merry Christmas” gift bag of baby clothes they had found in my closet for future baby showers. We arrived at the hospital and was just sitting down with the family when Nurse Ratchett told us we had to leave. Because of the H1N1 flu they were not allowing any children in the waiting rooms. Jo tried to negotiate with her but she was having no part of it and back to the car we went but not before Natasha hit every number on the way down on the elevator. We got a picture on Nina’s telephone about 30 minutes after we arrived home of baby Eli.

The girls settled down on the couch to watch the New Year roll in as all Americans do with the traditional New Year’s Eve events… They had their blankets, dry ramen noodles and apples as we watched the ball drop in New York City and everyone sang songs as Dick Clark wished everyone a Happy New Year…. I looked at them and saw how happy they were, how content, how peaceful and wondered how we were all going to survive the airport on Sunday.