Those were the words I was dreading to hear on Sunday and as I got up I knew how precious little time we had left together. Natasha got up at 8:00 which I couldn’t believe because she normally sleeps until 10:30. She had her game face on and she went to the bathroom and changed into a little hot pink short plaid shirt, black sparkly tights, shiny black boots and a striped white shirt and hot pink sleeveless hoodie. She looked dressed to the nine’s and gorgeous. I checked in on her a few minutes later and found her fast sleep again in her bed….

9:00 – I started putting luggage out in my car and trying to keep myself busy. I put a few more toys in her backpack (Diva Puppies) that I thought would make her smile when she unpacked… She named them Chewey, Beau and Maggie…

9:30 – I started calling everyone to tell them I was heading to the airport soon and I spent the next 45 minutes looking for the Dramamine that Jo had given me for Natasha. I couldn’t’ find it anywhere and I turned my house upside down looking for it. I felt awful since I knew this would help her on the flight and Jo had made a special trip to get it…

10:00 – I started waking Natasha up and she was so sleepy and groggy. She didn’t understand what was happening and finally she remembered and started crying… I hugged her and told her I loved her and that I always would. She gave me a necklace that I’m sure was given to her during her stay but I got the meaning. She didn’t want me to forget her… She walked out of her room and said goodbye to Maggie. She smiled at her and walked like a little soldier out to the car. She asked me about Beau which she couldn’t pronounce and it always sounded like “Bup” and so I reminded her he was at the kennel.

10:15 – I was getting gas and Jo drove there to meet us. She jumped in my car while I was pumping gas and gave Natasha hugs and kisses. I wasn’t the only one that was going to miss this beautiful little girl. Donna, Jeff, Nina, Vickie and Trinity met us at the airport and the day of dread had begun.

I had my first meltdown at the ticket counter when I was told we were in the wrong line and we had to start all over again. That was all I could stand and so Jo stepped up and mentioned to the ticket agent that Natasha was going to the Ukraine and to please help us out. She was going with another girl and already nervous. They let us have the next ticket agent and he was very kind. I explained what was happening and he just worked diligently to get her thru the process and could see the sadness on my face. I’ve never been a good poker player and there was no disguising the loss I was feeling.

We made it to the security gate and everyone said their goodbyes. Natasha was crying softly and her head started to just look at the floor. I gave her my I phone so she could keep herself busy. I took Natasha on thru security and she knew the drill… Shoes off, coat off, purse in plastic bin, backpack off, etc. etc. She actually did a better job than me and looked at me with that Russian look of annoyance as if she was saying “Catch up with me… Do I have to teach you everything!” I realized I was being admonished by an 11 year old…

When we got to the gate she sat down and didn’t want to talk or do anything but send her last text messages to Nina. I don’t know what she was saying since she was using a Russian keyboard but she was twirling those thumbs as fast as she could. Cindy came with Valya and so I had a chance to hear about their hosting trip. Valya is a beautiful girl, soft spoken, loving and holding on to Cindy with all she had. The trip would not be easy for the girls but I was so glad they were together on the flight to Baltimore. They were being picked up by a guardian who would take them to Dulles International Airport and there all the children hosted during the Christmas season would get to see each other. Natasha was very happy to hear that Laura’s child (who unfortunately I cannot spell her name correctly) was waiting to see her once she arrived. She had been adopted last year from the same orphanage as Natasha and I was glad they were going to have time together. I wanted her to give her “hope” that things would work out for her too…

“Announcing Flight 777 to Baltimore. We will start pre flight boarding.” We looked at each other and knew it was time. I grabbed her backpack and she had her purse and toy she wanted to take on the plane (that wouldn’t fit in the suitcase). As Cindy and Valya were saying their goodbyes she melted into my arms and cried, tears running down her cheeks that sliced through my heart. I whispered something in her ear that only she and I could share and I hope it was enough to get her through the flight.

We waved goodbye and the doors shut. Cindy and I walked back to the others and we chatted for a few minutes. It was a tough day on everyone and we left the airport with a piece of all our hearts heading to the Ukraine.

I walked in my house later that day and the silence was deadening. I looked through my entire house and there was a piece of Natasha in every room. She left her mark and I could still feel her essence from the little shoes next to my kitchen table, to the arts and crafts on my dining room table, the Russian food in my refrigerator, to the mountain of gifts still remaining in her bedroom that would not fit into her suitcase. She was loved and she knew it…Maggie and Beau kept searching room to room for her. The rest of the evening was a blur.

Natasha probably arrived around 4:30 today and all day long I kept thinking about her and praying for her safety on her long road back to Odessa. I thought of all the children today who were hosted and wondered how they were doing… Did they have enough to eat? Were they warm enough? Were they missing us? Did anyone hug them today?

These children are like the broken glass that the director of the orphanage would piece together and build into a beautiful mosaic. Their lives have been shattered but with love and attention they will flourish and will grow into beautiful young men and women. I have thought about the mosaic analogy often and believe if you put all the pictures together of children adopted from the Ukraine (a collage of sorts) and you step back a few feet, you will see God’s image in the background. I am convinced that he brought Natasha to us and we were the lucky ones to have her.

I pray that families will step up and host during the summer or go forward with adoptions. These children are a blessing and are only waiting for a family to come and get them. They have been through more than most but they still have hope that one day they will have a Mama and a Papa.

Is the process challenging? Yes, but you have people like Maggie at frontierhorizons.org that can help you through the process and countless families across the United States to provide advice and encouragement. Will the first few months be challenging since there will be translation challenges? Yes, but nothing that you can’t overcome… I have met so many families through this hosting event and heard their own stories of adoption. All feel blessed beyond belief.

This whole experience could be a Hallmark movie and all we’re waiting on is the happy ending. I pray with all my heart that it comes soon.

A special thank you to Nina who was the best interpreter a girl could have. I would have been lost without you…. You more than anyone, made Natasha’s trip one she will never forget. I love you vey much!!

Natasha slept until 11:15 this morning and who would be at my front door but Nina. As soon as she heard her voice Natasha bolted out of bed and ran to her and hugged her. They know the time is drawing near and I am grateful for one more day with them together. Nina’s father called me today and asked if I had “kidnapped” his daughter again. I said I like to think of it as “attending church camp” since she has been with us almost every day of Natasha’s stay and I couldn’t have done it without her…

The girls had breakfast and they are now sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted, little girls and Natasha started acting silly at the table. I turned to say something to her when a full glass of cranberry juice came my way in slow motion and all over me and on the wallpaper of my kitchen… I know what would have happened to me with my parents so all I said is “Get in the car. We’re going to see the Russian shopkeepers.” They went running to the car laughing and when we arrived I explained what had happened to the shopkeeper and I said “She goes home tomorrow and I don’t want this to be a downer but I want her to understand she can’t do things like that.” Her eyes got big when she heard what she had done and she said in a thick Russian accent “No, she must listen… I will talk to her…” So in a very even toned voice but with big brown eyes that said she meant business she had a “consultation” with Natasha and it was worth the $31 I paid for Russian sausages and cheese. She came out of the store much more gracious and I believe the “message” was received loud and clear. She ended the conversation very sweet and talked to the girls for almost 15 minutes and said “I hope to see you again.”

I took the girls over to Walgreen’s today so they could choose the pictures that Natasha would take home with her. I think they hit every button on the screen but I didn’t care because those pictures will help her through the flight tomorrow and she’ll be able to show them to the other kids that were hosted. We came back to the house and they turned on the TV and what would they be watching but “Annie.” I saw those little girls in the movie scrubbing the floors and I didn’t know if I should just change the channel or not… They were engrossed in the movie and I decided to let them see that it had a happy ending.. They were fine. I was not so fine…

I served them lunch and suddenly Beau and Maggie got into a fight and fur was flying everywhere. Maggie got too close to Beau’s food and Beau let her have it Texas style… It scared Natasha so much she started crying and finally after I pulled them apart she wanted nothing to do with either one of them. I told her we had to take Beau to the vet and leave him for the night and suddenly no one would sit in the car with him… I had to do some major negotiations but finally ended up with Beau in the front and the girls in the back… Natasha asked if Beau was sick and I said “no” but you could tell she was worried about him and why he wasn’t staying at home with Maggie.…I told her I want to make sure he is OK while I’m at the airport tomorrow so better safe than sorry. By the time we arrived at the vet clinic Beau was back in good graces with both of them… They started to take Beau back to the kennel and she latched on to him with all she had. It reminded me of Timmy and Lassie of yesteryear… She started crying and tears just fell down her cheeks as we walked out to the car…Beau and Maggie have been great therapy dogs for Natasha and there’s nothing better than having a pet when a child is upset or angry. They have a special way of soothing their little souls…

I took the girls over to Buckhead’s for the last dinner of ribs and French fries. Jo Miller and her friend Vickie along with Trinity (Vickie’s granddaughter) joined us and the girls were back to laughing and giggling together. I told them after 2 ½ weeks of carb ridden kid food I’m pretty sure a colon cleanse is justified…I am ready for some healthy food again…

The girls started getting quiet again as they got back in the car and covered up with blankets in the back seat. They both refuse to wear jackets so I have my car filled with blankets to keep them warm. So I decided to lighten up the mood by singing way off key my version of their Russian songs they have been playing all week…They just laughed and giggled and then Nina said with a thick accent “You drive. No sing. You no good.”

I took Nina home to Jeff and Donna’s and they begged to bring Maggie along and so off we went and said our goodbyes to their family. We came home and packed the remaining clothes and trinkets. Natasha’s favorite American slang is now “ I dunno and Oh my Gosh.” She practically had to sit on the suitcase to get it closed and she had her backpack full along with another little Walmart bag. I gestured to her that she came over with this little clear plastic backpack that was sitting on the floor and she realized how much she had been given during her stay and how much she was taking home with her. She kept looking at all of it and saying with her sweet accent “Oh my gosh.”. We practiced rolling the suitcase in my hallway as she had her backpack, purse and bag in tow…

We ended the night with one last round of Russian ravioli and she gestured and smiled when she looked at the wallpaper. We both laughed that the day had started out a bit rough but ended on a sweet note. At 1:15 I finally got her in bed and watching some American television. I am hoping the late hours will allow her to sleep on the plane.

It’s New Year’s Day and I told the girls I would take them to the movie as our last big outing. Nina was very willing to try a new adventure but Natasha has to work her way into anything new by contemplating and observing. Let’s just say she was not enthused about getting into the “machine.”

Natasha came to me with the RE/MAX sports bag she had used for swimming and gestured that she wanted to take it back on the plane rather than her backpack… She was trying to work her way through the fact that her trip was coming to an end and so that was a tough moment for us both… I had Nina interpret that we had a bigger bag for her with wheels so that she could take back more of her presents. That made her smile…The organizers of the trip sent us a note this past week that said we could send a suitcase and I was very relieved… She’s an organizer so when I had the nerve to peek in her room I could see she was almost finished and everything was neatly packed. I had to just walk out of the house and take a breather…

Once they arrived at the theatre with bags of buttered popcorn, M&M’s and icee’s all was right with the world again. We saw the latest Chipmunk movie and it was really cute. I think I enjoyed it as much as they did and the cinematography was amazing. The brightest colors I’ve seen on the screen in a long time and I found myself thinking about the old movies I watched of them as a child.

After the movie, they wanted to go see the Russian shopkeeper and so I drove by but unfortunately they were closed. I recommend any family considering adoption in Louisville to check out the store and to use them as a helpful resource when you are struggling with translation. They were terrific and I will never forget them.

I took the girls back over to Jeff and Donna’s and I know Nina was happy to see her Mama and her family, to be back in her own room, with her own kitten and her own DRUM set! She was back in her home and you could tell she had missed everyone.

Natasha wanted to go to the grocery store one last time and “grocery” sounds like (magazine) in Ukrainian. “Mama….. MAG A ZINE…” It’s so funny and sweet to hear her voice…. She wanted a birthday cake, sausages, and kosher dill pickles as her meal along with oranges and two lunchables trays of crackers, ham, cheese and turkey as a nice midnight snack. Her birthday is in October so I’m not sure why she wanted the cake but she had a generous portion that evening and she loved the yellow roses and icing on the cake.

I called Laura in Maryland and asked earlier in the morning if her daughter (who was in the same orphanage as Natasha) could speak to each other. The trip was winding down and I thought it might help her to talk to someone who she remembered and loved from the orphanage. They spoke for almost an hour and I think she knows that Laura’s daughter will be at the airport to see her in Baltimore. That will make the first leg of the trip easier on her. I dread thinking of Natasha on a flight for 23 hours. That’s hard enough on an adult and she hates to fly. I’m guessing it has to do with the headaches she has and perhaps some of her dental issues.

I asked Laura about the orphanage in Balta and she said it was in a very rural setting. I was pleased to hear she was not in the city…She said if you took a black and white picture you would not know what decade it was. Lots of horse drawn wagons, men in their black Russian caps and coats, and women dressed in typical Ukrainian wardrobe. She said the director is a very nice woman and she still keeps in contact with her. The children receive 5 small meals a day. It may not be the food they enjoy the most but it’s nutritious and she does her very best for the kids. Laura mentioned she is artistic and she helps the kids paint murals and make mosaics out of broken glass to add some interest to the walls and gives the children something to do. The orphanage has about 250 children many of which are available for adoption.

The girls slept in late and they were on their own until I got home at noon today. Jo’s great grandson was about to be born today and so everyone was off to the hospital in anticipation of the delivery. The girls are night owls and late sleepers where you almost have to sound a bugle to get them up so I knew they would be safe until I arrived home.

Friday afternoon we met Pam and Jay Best and their family at the YMCA. They were able to get us in with a guest pass and so the girls were able to swim again and in a place that has this huge slide. Natasha just sat down on the bench and observed for about 10 minutes and then she just threw off her beach towel and went climbing up the slide like it was Mt. Everest. Once she had one turn under her belt there was no stopping her…

Jay and Pam’s children (Sophie and Julia) played with Nina and Natasha all afternoon. Their son Andrew played sports all afternoon and held his own against his competition in basketball. There’s a funny story that when Jay and Pam went to adopt their children they planned on adopting two (Andrew and Sophie). It wasn’t until they arrived in the Ukraine that the kids told them they had another sister at another orphanage and was she (Julia) coming too! The rest is history…They packed all three kids up and off they went. It wasn’t easy in the beginning because of the translation challenges but if you could just see these kids now it goes to show what love, patience and boundaries can do for the children. Many of the children at not accustomed to following rules or having anyone care about them. It takes time for them to believe that someone really loves them and will always have their best interest at heart.

After swimming, Jay and Pam invited us over to a spaghetti dinner with salad and garlic bread. The kids were hungry since they had played all afternoon. I fixed Natasha her meal and when I took it to her and we were all seated at the table her head just went down and tears started falling down her cheeks. This is the second or third time when I have been in a big family gathering that she has shown those same emotions and we can’t determine if she misses her family or if she doesn’t feel part of the meal because she doesn’t have a family of her own… It will rip you apart with sadness and so we tried to just go on with the meal since she wanted no one to touch her or hold her. Her eyes were glued to the floor.

Finally, Julia got the great idea that once the kids went back downstairs to play on the wii they would take her food with them. It worked like a charm and they came back about 10 minutes later with an almost empty plate… She came back upstairs smiling and we clapped (she held her hands over her ears but was smiling). We ended the day with peppermint ice cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles and the kids went downstairs with theirs and Natasha was back in the game enjoying hers as well.

As I was driving home Natasha got a glimpse of the Golden Arches which equates to French fries and she told Nina she was hungry. We zipped thru drive thru and the girls got fries and a vanilla sundae. About 30 minutes passed and I was almost in my subdivision when she tapped me on the shoulder and said in English “ I am hungry.” She saw the Golden Arches again and although I thought it was better not to do so I turned the “machine” back around and ran through drive thru AGAIN. I just kept hinking to myself that in two days she will be on a 23 hour flight with minimal amounts of food and back into an environment where only the strongest survive. She needed every last pound on that 70 pound frame to see her through.

As soon as we walked thru the door I got a phone call that baby Eli was about to be born. The girls wanted to go to the hospital and so off we went with a “Merry Christmas” gift bag of baby clothes they had found in my closet for future baby showers. We arrived at the hospital and was just sitting down with the family when Nurse Ratchett told us we had to leave. Because of the H1N1 flu they were not allowing any children in the waiting rooms. Jo tried to negotiate with her but she was having no part of it and back to the car we went but not before Natasha hit every number on the way down on the elevator. We got a picture on Nina’s telephone about 30 minutes after we arrived home of baby Eli.

The girls settled down on the couch to watch the New Year roll in as all Americans do with the traditional New Year’s Eve events… They had their blankets, dry ramen noodles and apples as we watched the ball drop in New York City and everyone sang songs as Dick Clark wished everyone a Happy New Year…. I looked at them and saw how happy they were, how content, how peaceful and wondered how we were all going to survive the airport on Sunday.

Today was a day the girls have been looking forward to all week since they got to go to an amusement center for the afternoon. I have never been to one of these facilities and the joke was on me! All I can say is that it is Chucky Cheese on Steroids. I don’t know who was more exhausted at the end of the day (the adults or the children.) I will remind myself in the future to never rush from work in high heels and spend the day chasing the kids all around the facility. By the end of the day I could have cared less if I even owned a pair of shoes…

Natasha kept watching the kids who were being propelled into the air with a trampoline and wires attached to them which literally took them almost up to the 30 foot ceiling. She was observing at first and then the courage and desire to “strap in” finally got the best of her. It reminded me of when I was a kid and I would go on the rides at the 4-H fair. You wanted to see your parents as you passed by on the carousel for comfort. Natasha was fearless as long as she knew there were people on the ground rooting her on. She also reminds me of a little gymnast and believe she would really enjoy that kind of activity.

Natasha and Nina also had a wonderful time with the bumper cars and spent most of the afternoon ramming each other until I was sure they would both come home bruised from the speed of impact. Natasha also found a machine where it picks up candy and drops it in the box for her. Somehow she figured out the rhythm of the machine so that she kept getting candy and it didn’t take any money off of her card. She just squealed when she realized she had found the scam that would give her unending amounts of chicklets, candy necklaces and bubble gum. Nirvana to most kids her age.

The other rides cost money and the only time we saw the kids come near us was when “you guessed it” they needed to refill their cards. They would beg and plead for “more money” and pizza. So for now we relented and just let them enjoy the day. My pocketbook along with Nina’s grandmother are both substantially lighter today but we both agreed that it was probably the best time Natasha has ever had in her lifetime.. So what’s a little cash for a memory like that… I’m beginning to like Ramen noodles and so I’ll just have to make it up on the back end…

It was back to my house for a sleep over and lots of Russian food still to be devoured.
Judy’s package from Texas arrived today and Natasha noticed it under the tree. I told her she had to wash her hair and let Jo cut it before she could open the package and so she said “no” for awhile but then curiosity got the best of her and off she went to take a bath. The package was filled with everything a little girl could imagine (hair clips, purse, shampoo, compact, bows and bangles, a bag with pictures of me when I lived in Texas and more girly girl things than you could imagine.)

Natasha is starting to pull back as she knows Sunday is fast approaching. She is attached to Nina but the rest of us are now only getting a glimmer of her personality. She is guarded and wanting to know why she has to go home at all. Do we not love her???
If she only knew just how much we do…..The package from Judy soothed her soul that evening but she’s so conflicted with what is happening to her that your heart just aches for her. Jo, Donna and Jeff Dziedzic and myself will all be sitting down with her on Saturday to try and help her better understand the process and to let her know that all the kids hosted have to return to the orphanage. We want her to know she should never give up hope that she will return to us. She has to have faith. We all have to have faith that somehow this will have a happy ending. Nina will be critical in interpreting for us and helping her understand just how many people are on “Team Natasha.”

The hosting program requires the children to go back to the orphanage and potential parents will then start the adoption process which typically takes 3 months and two trips over to the Ukraine to sign papers and get a court date. Maggie of Frontier Horizon is well equipped to answer any questions potential parents may have and can help anyone navigate the process. She has adopted from the Ukraine as well and has a particular love of these children. Her dedication to this program ensures that it goes smoothly.

Today, Jo (Nina’s grandmother) picked the girls up from my house. We have quite a system going and the girls are staying up into the wee hours of the morning. Nina is ready to jump out of bed and is usually playing games on her phone but Natasha is sacked out catching every last moment of sleep she can before Jo arrives. I’m glad she is off the Tylenol because she now seems more like herself again although she is complaining of headaches. We can’t determine if it is more dental work needed or if it is just the Ohio Valley allergies which affect many children and adults. But she continues to power through her headaches so she can play with all the kids.

I met Jo over at the family of Jay and Pam Best. They adopted three siblings from the Ukraine (Sophie, Julia and Andrew) about four years ago. It is amazing to see their pictures when they first arrived versus now. They are strong and vibrant children who love their family and have easily adapted into our culture. Jay mentioned in the beginning that when he would have an issue that was important and needed to be resolved he would take them over to the food store on Taylorsville Rd where the owners spoke Russian. After meeting them I can see how helpful they are and how they can “drive the message home” when you need to be serious with the children. They are loving and giving people and I am so glad I met them.

The girls were downstairs all afternoon learning to play the Wii with a cooking class on making truffles and it was fun to watch them catch on so quickly. They were content for hours as the adults stayed upstairs and enjoyed coffee and chocolate and key lime pie.
I’m not sure who enjoyed the afternoon the most (them or me.)

I took the girls home and we (I mean they) finished up the last can of sardines as I tried to at least stay at the table and not look as green as I did the day before. They love the sausages and cheeses that reminded them of their home country. I have to admit it was fun watching them and knowing how much I would miss the food of our country if I was away. They still continue to talk in Ukrainian and so I am missing most of the conversation but I am picking up a few words here and there.

They ended the night where they always do. The big king size bed with their cell phones plugged into their chargers and playing games for hours. Bowls of popcorn, sprite, chocolate, dry ramen noodles, gummy bears, oranges and off to “movie night” they go with their videos. I can only say I have a whole new appreciation for single moms and trying to work and keep home and hearth running at the same time. I have never been so exhausted and so content all in the same day.

Natasha is struggling with going back (as am I) and although I keep my emotions to myself, anytime the topic of the orphanage comes up she turns to fire and ice. Her head goes down, her eyes start to glaze and she keeps her emotions in check. Her fiery look of defiance as her survivor mode kicks in and ice because she refuses to shed a tear. She turns into the girl I met at the airport who was angry and the Russian glare comes back into her face and her body stiffens.

A little girl from Maryland calls tonight that was one of Natasha’s class mates from the orphanage and was adopted last year. Maggie has sent her the blog and her mother was able to get in touch with me to set up the evening phone call. That lightens up the mood a bit and I am grateful. Seeing her smile is priceless indeed…

Caption 1: Suggest a caption in the comments below and I will insert it.

Caption 2: Same deal here.

Caption 3: You get the idea, right? (grin)

Caption 4: Suggest away!

caption 5: Last One!

The last two days are a bit of a blur for me but the one thing I do know and keeps popping up in the back of my mind is that we now have less than seven days with Natasha. Nina is spending more and more time with Natasha and I can’t thank
Jeff and Donna enough for this gift of time with the girls.

Sunday was a tougher day with Natasha and I knew one day the “war of the wills” would come to light. She had on one of her yellow hoodies sent from Texas and wanted to paint her Diva Puppies. I tried and tried to get the hoodie off and she was pushing back with all she had. I tried to kid with her and gesture to her that she would get paint all of it. She understood but she still wanted to paint in it anyway. She just sobbed after we got it off (partly exhausted from so much activity the last few days and partly because she is not accustomed to many rules or guidance.) Blend the two together and it was a total meltdown. I decided in the end it wasn’t a battle I needed to win and I’d just let her enjoy being a little girl (paint and all). She eventually went back into her room and slept for 5 hours! I spoke to Jeff and Donna about it (Nina’s Mom and Dad) because it was far more hurtful to me to see her unhappy and confused than it was for her. Your heart just aches for them and what they’ve been through and you are never quite the same.

On Sunday afternoon Nina came over and spent the night. I gave up my room “for the team”so that they could enjoy watching DVD’s on a big down comforter and a king size bed which somehow they managed to use every inch of it with toys and books. They had all kind of treats and it was snowing in Louisville so they would run out and have a snowball fight and then run back in and jump under the covers and watch TV. Natasha stopped by my home office and wrote “26” and looked at me with concern. I had to write down that it was “27” meaning December 27th and I knew that our thoughts were moving in the same direction. She said “Ok” and ran back to Nina. That was a tough moment since I knew her little heart was sad about the flight on Sunday the 3rd. I am dreading it as well.

Nina has taught Natasha how to play hundreds of games on the I Phone and I wished she could keep the phone for the flight back to soothe her but I know that is not possible. The girls are living in their pajamas and extending their over night into a triple play which I’m happy to do because I get a glimpse of my past as well and times I spent with my cousin Liz. Natasha is learning so much and grasping onto every new adventure with such enthusiasm and promise. She was talking to Nina’s friends from the International School as if they were all old buddies and this generation is interesting to watch as technology takes control of their life from the moment they get up until they go to sleep. They continue to have appetites that are beyond anything I have ever seen and included moon pies, oranges, chocolate, hot dogs, ramen noodles, sprite, mashed potatoes, grilled chicken and juice boxes.

I finally turned the lights off at 2:30 since I knew we had an early morning ahead of us.

On Monday, I had to go to work so Donna picked them up and took them for the afternoon and Jeff brought them back for their sleep over. Donna called me later in the day to tell me about a Russian grocery store on Taylorsville Road and I told the girls I would take them since I forgot to pick up ramen noodles at Kroger. They flew through the door and the owner and his wife immediately started talking Russian to them and they were in their element. We came home with ravioli, honey molasses cookies, chocolate, various cheeses, sausages and as my stomach tumbled around I added two cans of tomato based sardines to my basket. Seventy two dollars later we were out of the store…

They immediately stated pulling out plates and I started boiling the water for the ravioli. They consumed all the cheese before I even had a chance to get the remainder of the meal on the table but at least they were eating healthy and you could tell they were loving their delicacies. As I sat down to the table they offered me sardines which for the first time I had to decline. I started to try the ravioli and was looking at the packaging and it was lamb ravioli which for all my might I downed a couple before retreating back to grapes and deli meat. They were eating the tomato based sardines like a Texan would eat queso and chips. There was not a drop left once they finished and my fine diners were happy and content. They took off to the bedroom with their honey molasses cookies and sprite along with some play dough and I didn’t see them for an hour or so. They know their way around the Ponderosa and are both very independent little girls. A quality that will serve them well later in life and am happy to see that they both possess.

Natasha stopped by my home office and I could tell she loves office products. She wanted one of my binders and punched holes in the paper and bound them in the binder so she could start writing. She loves my ink pens and can write for hours. She also found my labeler and I’m not sure what she was typing in but she quickly learned the concept and said “thank you” and tore off with the labeler to the bedroom. When I checked in on them she was having the best time and I think most of my furniture had been labeled.

They went to bed early Monday night and we have a big day ahead of us. Grandma Jo is picking them up and they will have lunch with some other Ukrainian kids that have been adopted here in Louisville. I will pop in on them later to see the reunion.

I think at night about all these kids in the Ukraine and the circumstances they currently live with and wonder how I can help. The stories I have learned will break your heart and knock you to your knees at times. I admire these two little girls more than you can imagine for they have far more courage than I will ever possess… Their stories are replicated again and again with children desperately needing to be adopted and loved.

If you asked me was this hosting event worth it, I would tell you it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I hope more families take advantage of the program. If someone would ask me if I find older children to set in their ways to blend with an American family, I would tell you that you only have to see how grateful they are and how hard they try to learn our customs, our way of life without forgetting their own traditions. I can only tell you that Natasha is bright, curious, interested, grateful and loving and that I hope other families will think about adopting an older child if they are lead to do so. I can only tell you how desperately she wants to stay here and how lucky I am to have hosted her. She has changed me forever in ways I never thought possible. How do you save these children? You save them one child at a time…

I picked Natasha up from the Polar Bear Plunge Party and they had consumed generous portions of French toast, sausages, eggs, donuts and bacon. Natasha had a great time with Jo’s extended family and she felt a sense of family that made her so happy. She was not the little girl that got off the plane angry and unwilling to try anything but a little girl who had latched on to life and willing to experience every aspect of what family and living in the U.S. could mean to her.

When we got in the car I knew I had a very tired little girl and that the meal at Buckhead’s was going to be challenging. She wanted Nina to join us and in retrospect that would have been a better idea. She collapsed inside the door crying for Nina and wanting me to drive her in the “machine” over to her house… I had to get my little Nina to interpret that they would see each other later and that we really wanted her to have lunch with our family. She finally agreed and she lightened up when she saw “Pappy” (my nephew Patrick) who had stayed with us at the beginning of her stay. She also noticed they had ordered some appetizers and a spare rib was just within reach of her.

She started to put a straw in her glass and I had to take it from her because of the dental work she had just completed and the concern she would get a dry socket. I told her Jeff was a “dentiste” and I don’t think she was overly happy to see him at our table wondering if he had plans for her for the afternoon. She quickly realized he was not going to hurt her and she settled back in with the family.

She noticed that everyone else had a straw in their glasses and one by one we had to give them up as she glared at all of us and giggled that in her own way told all of us “Now, that’s not fair..” So she tried throughout the meal to take all of our straws and the only one who still had one at the end of the meal was Grandpa Ervin. That would have been a duel even I would have enjoyed to watch!

We had ordered her French fries since I didn’t think she was hungry but before the plates were on the table she was eyeing Philip’s (my other nephew) plate of ribs. He gave her half the slab and I appreciated him taking one for the team. She was quite content for the remainder of the meal but was ready to go and so Pappy came with us and we drove over to my house to have dessert and open more presents.

She ran to my room to watch Russian videos and the only way I could bring her back out was to entice her with more presents. She received a bracelet with a heart from my brother’s family, a scarf, headbands, necklaces, and a brush from my mother and father. She did a craft of painting Diva puppies and then went back to her room and watched videos which are now her second form of a security blanket. I will forever have that music etched in my memory as each episode comes on. It’s a bit like the Mod Squad of yesteryear and we are on episode 26 of 50! All I can tell you is that they rescued the girl from the kidnappers and it seems like good wins over evil in any language.

We had an evening meal of chicken and ramen noodles. She said her prayer and dived in once again amazing me where she can put it all. She watched Shrek on TV which was the first American movie I’ve been able to get her to watch from beginning to end. She is picking up English faster than I imagined and she’s teaching me several words in Ukrainian that I hope to remember. She doesn’t understand why I’m not a master of her language and she loses her patience with me at times. It’s funny to watch since our roles become confusing at times. She’s teaching me, I’m teaching her… She is amazing…

Natasha got up around 8:00 a.m. and came straight to the couch to tell me that her head hurt. She went right past the tree and the presents and didn’t even see them. She sat at the kitchen table holding her head in her hands while I dispensed more Tylenol. I’m not sure the two are connected now and perhaps she may have allergies that I’m not aware in addition to tooth pain from her dental surgery.

Once she became a little more alert I took her back to the living room and she saw the presents and smiled and said “thank you Mama” She dived in like and Energizer bunny and paper was flying everywhere. She was so grateful for what she received and you could tell that although she didn’t get the bike or the telephone she asked for she was still very happy indeed.

She received hair bands, clips, socks, tights, crafts, Twister, and a hoodie. Judy Peacock sent her a huge box from Old Navy and she couldn’t rustle through that box fast enough. Pants, shirts, hoodies, tops, jeans, and the cutest shoes with brightly colored snowflakes all over them… She just kept saying “Thank You” and we called Judy later that morning to let her speak to Natasha. She loves calling Texas and she knows she gets to speak to Judy. “Helllllloooooo” “Merry Christmas” “Thankkkkkkkkk You”

We enjoyed another meal of Ramen noodles for breakfast and a hotdog so she is slowing down in terms of food. It’s nice to see her feel comfortable and she knows she can go to the refrigerator anytime she likes. She is doing well after the dental surgery but keeps a sprite with her most of the time. She doesn’t seem to care for milk but juice boxes seem to work at times. She keeps trying to feed Maggie and Beau and I think she knows it stresses me out. I had Nina interpret for me that Beau is very sick and can only have certain food. She loves to tease me that she’s going to give him some food but she always pulls back before she does and laughs and giggles. As soon as Beau came home from the vet hospital he has been her dog and she tells me every day that Beau is hers and Maggie is mine. They both love her and let her do just about anything to them without complaint. They guard her like gold at Fort Knox.

The Tylenol is still causing her to sleep often so she slept for four hours only to get up and head to the refrigerator. I finally got her to eat warm grilled chicken and I believe she ate half the bird. She loved it and I was glad to get something healthy down her for a change. After we finished lunch I took her to my office where she could see the bird feeder outside that I had just filled up… Several types of birds and squirrels came by the window for their food and she loved seeing them up close. She grabbed my I Phone and started taking pictures to show Nina.

She asked if she could go in the “machine” and see Nina and so she didn’t know we already had plans to meet all of Jo’s family at the Drury Inn. I packed her a beach towel and some shorts and t shirt and off she went for her first polar bear plunge into the heated pools and Jacuzzi. She was a bit tentative in the beginning because she didn’t have a swimsuit but once she understood she could get in with her shorts and t shirt she got in the Jacuzzi and the girls splashed each other and laughed and spoke in Ukrainian most of the night. Later she was jumping into the pool and started swimming with the girls. They would run outside into the heated pool back inside into the other heated pool and back and forth they went for an hour. Natasha knows how to swim a little and seemed very comfortable. With Nina she fears nothing and Nina treats her like a sister. She’s loving and caring when she needs to explain things to her and silly and comical when she thinks she needs to lighten up. Natasha is soaking up all the love and warmth around her and she knows how much we love her…

She decided she wanted to spend the night at the Inn with Nina so she could see Santa Claus and enjoy more memories with Nina. As much as I wanted to keep her all to myself I knew she would be happier spending time with the kids and just being a little girl. She also gets to swim again which proved to be by far the most fun activity they have done so far. Jo Miller, Jeff and Donna and all of their extended family have opened their arms to Natasha and she feels the “circle of trust” amongst all of us.

I left knowing she was content and went home to bake cookies and wrap a few more presents for our Christmas visit with the Schafer/Swihart family. I opened the door and Maggie and Beau went looking for Natasha. They circled the Ponderosa for 45 minutes before they finally gave up and settled down…